low points

Recently, I remembered that one of my original intentions for this site was to help other indie-filmmakers - but when I say "help" I obviously don't mean in the same way that SunDance helps, or the same way IFP helps, but in a way that sometimes we newcomers desperately and unknowingly need the most... emotionally. [For me] to hear directors admit that their films were an uphill struggle and that, more often than not, their films were in danger of being red-lite or just falling apart right in-front of their eyes. It reminds us [little-guys] that a few [or an overwhelming amount of] "bumps-in-the-road" are how these things play out.

And in remembering this, I realized that I need to be more emotionally open in my post, quicker to admit that everyday I wake up and ask myself if I can still pull it off in the 'x' amount of days I have ahead of me? Will I find the money I need? Will I find a crew [up to the challenge] by late May? Will my film touch people's hearts like my first trip touched mine?

If this site never brings in the money I need... if this site has nothing to do with the search for a crew... all I hope from it is that out of the billions and billions of aspiring-filmmakers, just one stumbles onto this site, reads my story and the slow progress of preproduction and is inspired to push on with his project... or even better, to begin a project thats been on the back of his / her mind for who-knows-how-long.

Having that said that, I would like to admit that things have been a bit slow around here, I've been playing the waiting game with a few aspects of the project and fallen into a rut of "unintended-laziness". It feels good to get that off my chest. I'm far from finished... I've just found myself dragging my feet, I suppose these things happen - but with six-months left to go, I've got just enough time to take a deep breath, push-on and pull it all together... or die trying.

no, no & no

On a positive note: last night I watched a documentary titled, Girlhood, by Liz Garbus, the film follows two girls over the course of three years, beginning with their stay at Waxter Juvenile facility... here's the films synopsis:

"...tells two coming-of-age stories from the real America: Shanae, ten years old when she was gang-raped by five boys, responded by drinking and drugging, and then graduated to murder, with the stabbing death of a friend, at age 12. Megan, whose mother abandoned her to turn tricks to support her ravaging heroin addiction, ran away from ten different foster homes before being arrested for attacking another foster child with a box cutter. Both girls ended up in the Waxter Juvenile Facility, home to Maryland's most violent juvenile offenders. It is here that their journeys really begin".

It was a really nice change in the topic of documentaries I've been finding myself watching lately, in the past month I've rented: Uncovered: The War on Iraq, Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism, Control Room, and more that I can't seem to remember right now. I'm not sure what got me on the political-docu-kick. As far as homework goes, their argumentative structure isn't at all the direction I need to be shooting for, not to mention afterwards I am left feeling depressed and overwhelmed.

So last night's Girlhood, a simple story following the lives of two people and the friends and family they encounter along the way, was exactly what I needed. In it's own way, I found it very inspiring - not necessarily in a filmmaking-sense, just inspiring on a every-day-life level, it was interesting to watch how differently the two girls reacted to life after 'juvi', I don't want to give any of the story away for those of you who might watch it in the future, so I will move on.

On a not-so-positive note: I'm finding myself running into dead-end after dead-end with the film's finances, recently I've been researching grants for independent documentaries and every-time I find one that I 100% qualify for, I find it's application deadline has passed. I've looked everywhere I can think of: IFP's Anothony Radziwill Fund, Film Arts, IDA, Moxie Docs, Next Wave Films... I'm running out of places to look. No matter what combination of words I Google I get the same twenty results.

Amanda and I are driving down to San Diego tomorrow night to catch the last screening of Go Further, [coincidentally] a film following Woody Harrelson on a coastal bicycle trip - but with more of a twist, the documentary revolves around the idea that there are "viable alternatives to our habitual, environmentally-destructive behaviors". The travellers include a yoga-teacher, a raw food chef, a hemp-activist, a junk-food addict, and a college student who suspends her life to impulsively hop aboard.

Amanda has been dying to see this film for the past year, I have to admit I'm a bit jealous of their tag-line: "What's so funny 'bout peace, love and organic farming"? That kind of Elvis Costello reference is hard to top, not that I'm necessarily out to "top" Go Further, but you know what I mean - it's something to shoot for.

six months to go

To do list: Save personal money ($1,500). Raise $8,000 for film's (minimal) budget. Fine tune budget... what will 8'grand cover? Finish creative shooting list / script. Find trustworthy, reliable crew. Find crew-transportation.

Sounds easy enough. My heart is pounding just thinking about the above... on the plus-side, this will make one hell of a story someday.

to the drawing board

It's my [birthday] party and I'll cry if I want to. And I have damn good reason to: apparently I didn't read over the guide-lines of the "Ideas happen" contest carefully enough, therefore missing the fact that only the top 10 finalist of the "first" voting stage [which ended three hours ago] can move on to the second and final round, from there four lucky people will be picked from each of the three categories and awarded $25,000... and I won't be one of those people. I guess that's what I get for trying to not pay too much attention to the contest, worrying it would distract me. This is a surprisingly huge let-down for me, I guess I underestimated how much I was subconsciously expecting or hoping to make the top four.

I suppose it's time for me to take a deep breath, count to ten and come to terms with the fact that no one is going to single handedly finance proj:pedal. Actually, having just said that I believe the real blow to the stomach is the realization that I have several serious problems to tackle... problems that will undoubtedly stone wall the film if not taken care of.

For example: earlier in the year I was confident I had a truck [for the crew members] set aside, but I don't believe that plan is as solid as it was before. Although I am already working on an alternative to that, so I'm not overly concerned [yet] about crew member transportation.

I've been entertaining the idea of running a 'canned-food drive' for proj:pedal's crew, at the moment the budget sets aside $1,400 for food, which still is scrapping the bottom of the barrel. Getting non-perishable food donated would help cut the cost of the film a great deal. And I believe that starting tomorrow I am going to begin running a new wanted-add, every other day, on 'Craig's list' not for crew members, but for equipment such as: wireless mic kits, used steadicams, low-budget cranes, r/c helicopters, etc...

Amanda pointed out the other day that first-time readers coming to the site who might actually be interested in helping the project, possibly wouldn't be aware that it needed help. She said I hint at $8,000 budgets and ACA sponsorship and leave the door open for people to assume that I have that money to build from and I'm simply trying to fill the crew positions. I would humbly like to make clear for the record that the film is in desperate need of financial support and attention. You can find ways of which to help proj:pedal under the "get involved" drop-menu to the left.

Well, it is, like I mentioned above, my birthday and I need to get some sleep for my big day... which will begin in a few hours from now. Good-night, world.

temptation

In my efforts to find aspiring film-students looking to spend a summer on the road shooting a documentary on a shoe-string budget, I've managed to find anything but.

Instead, for what ever reason, each 'help wanted' I post at various indie-cine sites - I get a handful of responses from experienced DPs with impressive and intimidating resumes, showing heavy interest in the project. But the problem is; I can't afford them on an $8,000 budget. One operator, Zack Richard, offered, as a favor, to commit for... well, I won't say, but believe me when I say, it was 'next to nothing' for this industry. As for the rest, no one else has offered to work for such a low price, but I'm still in the early stages of planning... anything is possible.

A part of me insist that I shouldn't even tease myself with such out-of-reach ideas, but another part of me, the part of me that sees the full potential of the film, wants to try my damnedest to bring such talent to the project. At least one experienced crew member...

So with that, I'm going to shamelessly promote myself, and leave you all with a link: how to help your friendly neighborhood indie-filmmaker. Anyways, this cold is still kicking me around, I think I'm going to keep this short.

cold in california

I'm fighting a cold. I couldn't breath through my right nostril if my life depended on it, and my left nostril won't stop dripping like a faucet.

I've added a excerpt from the 6th draft of proj:pedal's opening montage, you can find this file in the left menu, under 'the production / script drafts'. This version doesn't include the film's prelude, you might call it, but I am planning on adding that separately at a later time. Right now I need to take a hot bath and a handful of cough drops.